It might only be the second-favourite, however, but May in Scotland tends to be one of the warmer months of the year: it’s often more reliable than the actual summer in terms of sunshine, and although we haven’t had the heatwave the rest of the UK has been enjoying (or not enjoying, as the case may be), we have had quite a few nice days, which went some way towards making up for the fact that the world seemed to be in danger of ending at any second, what with the hantavirus, and ebola, and… just everything, really. Did anyone else have the sudden revelation that they’re still actually quite traumatized from the pandemic this month, or was that just me?

(On second thoughts, maybe don’t bother answering that…)

Closer to home, meanwhile, we had quite a few school holidays, plus a handful of social events to navigate, so I feel like I never quite managed to get into the routine I desperately need in order to be productive: in fact, I’ve felt like I was just treading water for most of the month, really, so this post will probably be even less exciting than usual, unfortunately. I’ve never been one to let that stop me rambling on, though, so here’s a quick look at my May…

Watching:

Ghosts

Ghosts is about a young couple who move into a haunted house, and then one of them discovers she can communicate with the ghosts who live there. That’s pretty much my ideal plot right there, so I’ve no idea why I hadn’t watched it before now, but suffice it to say I made up for it by binging all five seasons, and then feeling oddly bereft once it was done. It’s ridiculous and OTT in the way that only a comedy about dead people can be, but it very quickly became a real ‘comfort’ watch for me, which is exactly what I needed this month.

The Other Bennet Sister

As a fully paid-up Jane Austen fangirl, I will watch anything with her name even tangentially attached to it, so The Other Bennet Sister, which imagines what life would’ve been like for Mary Bennet, the ‘forgotten’ sister, was always going to be on my list.

I really enjoyed this, although it did leave me feeling like someone should one day write Mrs Bennet’s side of the story, and … wait! Maybe it should be me? Should I be the one to tell Mrs Bennet’s story?!

Outlander

I will admit that I haven’t enjoyed the last few seasons of Outlander as much as some of the others (the series vastly over-estimated my interest in men fighting, tbh), but the finale more than made up for it, and, once again, left me feeling quite bereft when it was over. I’ve actually never read the books it’s based on, having discovered it through the TV series, but maybe I should?

Reading:

Because we’ve been so busy with other stuff, I only managed to read two books this month, and one of them was Wuthering Heights, which I’ve read multiple times before, but decided to re-read after visiting the Bronte parsonage back in March. The other one was A Novel Love Story by Ashley Poston (which I actually wish I’d read first, because it would’ve been a nice little palette cleanser after the relentless darkness of Wuthering Heights...) and it’s about a woman who mysteriously finds herself in the fictional setting of her favourite romance book series. This is the second Ashley Posten book I’ve read (the first being The Seven Year Itch), but I’m sure it won’t be the last.

Also, remember this?

Well, well, what do we have here?

Look, I cracked, OK? Because it turned out that £17.99 paperback was some kind of super-special one, and once it sold out, Amazon revealed the REAL paperbacks wouldn’t be out until next April. Well, I obviously couldn’t wait that long, so here we are…

I just started this a couple of days ago and am only about halfway through (I’m actually not a slow reader, but lack of time forces me to be one…), so I’ll save my thoughts on it for another time, but I will say I’m thoroughly enjoying it so far and not really getting why it’s had so much criticism, although I’ll reserve my final judgement for once I’ve actually finished.

I will also say that it’s really annoying me having to prop up a gigantic hardback when I’m reading in bed at night, though, so I stand by what I said here:

I will die on this hill.

Listening:

Would it surprise any of you to know I’ve mostly been listening to Noah Kahan’s, The Great Divide? Nope, didn’t think so…

Writing:

As you might know, I finished the first draft of my second book for Black & White at the start of the month, and nervously sent it off to my agent for her feedback. I was all kinds of terrified waiting to hear back from her, because this book was my difficult second novel, and writing it was like pulling teeth at times, so I genuinely had no idea if it was any good or not. Happily, though, Kate got back to me this week to say she really enjoyed it, and she had only a few small suggestions for changes before we submit it to the publisher, so that was a huge relief.

It still has to go through numerous edits, of course (including the all-important structural edit), so there’s still a long way to go with this one, but I feel like it’s over the first hurdle now, so I’m a little less stressed about it.

In other news, Highland Getaway comes out NEXT WEEK, and how am I feeling about that, I’m going to pretend I hear you ask?

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I know I say this all the time, but I honestly can’t believe we’re into April already. March was one of those ‘blink and you miss it’ months, but we did managed to fit quite a lot in, which I will now tell you about in slightly tedious detail…

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I started writing these monthly looks behind the scenes a while back, but have only published them sporadically since then because I’ve been sitting on the news of my publishing deal for almost a year now, which meant that everything that was happening ‘behind the scenes’ was stuff I wasn’t allowed to tell you about. Which was awkward, really.

But now the news is finally out! Which means I have literally no excuse not to start these back up again, do I?

These posts are for paid subscribers, as a kind of thank you for making it possible for me to continue putting out this newsletter every week, but because I love my free subscribers too, don’t worry, normal service will resume next week. (Please don’t unsubscribe…)

In this look behind the scenes…

• All the things I’m anxious about right now.

• Why I’m not planning a launch party for my book, even though everyone keeps telling me I should have one.

• Two traits I share with the main character of my book.

• Why aren’t authors allowed to be reclusive any more? Why, though?

• Winter sucks. No, really, it does.

• Quite a lot of dull stuff about our garden project. Don’t really know why I included that, tbh.

• Hey, did I mention my book? Did you pre-order it yet?!

Here we go…

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So, the main headline for October? Our car — which we’ve only had for two months — was written off. And, because nothing in our lives is ever straightforward, we immediately found we had a (not particularly interesting) mystery on our hands…

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So, I announced I was going to start doing these monthly roundup posts back in March (I think?), but, as is my way, I immediately forgot all about it, meaning there was only ever one solitary little ‘Behind the Scenes’ post from me. Whoops.

Even though I’m pretty sure no one missed it, though, I’m bringing BtS back this month, with some short updates on everything that’s been happening … er, behind the scenes. Yes. It’s a good title for this particular feature, don’t you think?

These posts are for paid subscribers, as a kind of ‘thank you’ for supporting me, but, as with the last one, there are no big revelations hiding behind the paywall, and because I always worry that publishing these will make all of my beloved free subscribers abandon me, I have some reading material for you guys, too, in the form of…

1. This blog post about all of the Scottish places I used as inspiration for my books.

2. This extremely long and rambly one about my accidental journalism career.

Over on my Ko-Fi shop, meanwhile, I also have four bonus chapters from the Heather Bay Romance series available to buy (sorry! Girl’s gotta eat!). These are three chapters from the perspectives of the main male characters in the books (Jack, Jett, and Dylan…), plus the original first chapter of The Accidental Impostor, which I eventually cut from the finished manuscript, and they’re available as a downloadable .pdf. Enjoy!

And, with all of that out of the way, here are a few of the things I haven’t been telling you this month…

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Multiple times, actually.

I wrote about one of those times in the newsletter, but only because, on that particular occasion, the breakdown happened to leave us stuck at the other end of the country for days; which was mildly dramatic, if not particularly interesting. I didn’t even bother to mention the other times, because, honestly, it was happening so often that if I’d written about all of the things that car put us through, this would’ve basically been a newsletter about my car — and, let’s face it, other people’s car troubles are super-boring, aren’t they? Admit it: you were thinking it, right?

Anyway.

Last year, the car spent more time with the mechanic, than it spent with us. It cost us far more than it was actually worth. And, by the time it broke down again in October — this time almost (but not quite) leaving us stranded in the Highlands1 — it had become obvious that it was on its last legs (wheels?). It was going to have to go.

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That’s not its real name, obviously: I got it from one of those online name generators I use when I’m writing my books (Alternative suggestions: Grimebreak; Curseguard; Snakevale; Roguemere…), so I can pretend it’s a town in a Lucy Score novel, say, where everyone has a weird, made-up name, and is almost freakishly attractive.

OK, maybe not that last bit.

The first thing you need to know about the village is that it’s a beautiful wee village.

The second thing you need to know is that this is not true; it’s just something the villagers of Direbury always say to each other to detract from the real truth, which is that Direbury is basically just a wide space in the road, and most people probably don’t even notice it as they drive through.

“This is a beautiful wee village,” though, begins every second post in the Facebook group. “But if people could just stop letting their dogs poop everywhere/walking past my house/ having sex in front of the window1, then that would be even better…”

Terry and I moved to Direbury about ten years ago, and for the first few years we had very little involvement with the life of the village because, much to my disappointment (And yours too, once you realise how much this post is about to go downhill) , it is not in fact a village from a romcom, so there was no struggling bookshop or florist for us to rescue with our city-slicker ways, for instance, and not even a cosy pub where we could get to know quaint characters, like a man with a pet sheep, say, or a tall, brooding stranger who would later turn out to be a secret billionaire.

No, other than the school/community centre (Yes, it’s one building for both) all Direbruy had to offer was a Post Office, a chip shop, and a convenience store, which I immediately dubbed The Inconvenience Store, on account if it never actually having any of the things I wanted to buy.

The Post Office was the first to go.

This was actually good news for the villagers, because the Post Office was run by People Who Hated People, and who also hated sending mail, and that was quite a bad combination for a postal service, really. So it was closed down, and a Post Office counter was opened up in the Inconvenience Store2 instead.

Unlike the OG Post Office, the Inconvenience Store didn’t have a half-day on Wednesdays or close for an hour every day for lunch, but it did work according to 1950s rules in all other respects — as I discovered the first time I went in there, to find a customer at the counter who was doing this thing where she asked for each item individually, and then either the man behind the counter went and fetched it for her, or he told her where it was, and she went and got it herself. So she’d be all, “Do you have any beans?” and he’d say, “Yeah, in the corner next to the milk,” then she’d go and get them, come back and go, “Do you have cheese?” and so it would go on.

I waited patiently for something like 5 hours, then finally the woman got to the last item on her list, which was coleslaw.

“Do you have any coleslaw?” she asked.

“No,” said the shopkeeper. “I have some salad cream, though.”

At this, the woman reeled backwards in horror. Like, she LITERALLY reeled backwards in horror. I had never actually seen anyone do that in real life before, so it was quite interesting to me.

“SALAD CREAM?” she said, horrified. “I don’t want f*****g SALAD CREAM! I make my own dressings from scratch, I’ll have you know! Because I’m not THAT c*****g lazy!”

And that was how I met Villette.

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Tomorrow will be exactly one year since I published my very first newsletter here on Substack, but it feels a little bit cheaty to describe it as my “anniversary” (Stackiversary? Is that a thing? Can that please be a thing?), because that newsletter went out to exactly zero subscribers, and I only sent one more after it, until over 5 months later, when I decided to import the subscriber list from my blog and start taking this thing seriously.

So this is not really a typical “Substack anniversary” update, in that I’m not sure I’ve really been here long enough to be able to give much insight into my “journey”. (Oh, and I guess it’s also untypical in that I’m not about to reveal any big numbers or runaway successes here, so if you have expectations, I’d suggest lowering them…)

I did want to mark the occasion with some thoughts about the platform, and how it’s working out for me so far, though, so here we go: with a quick caveat to say that this is a really long post, which will probably only be of interest to other Substack creators. I’m always fascinated by articles where writers/bloggers/creators lift the lid on their businesses, which is why I also love writing them, but I know they’re not for everyone, so rest assured, the newsletter will be back to regular programming tomorrow!

Here’s a random photo of my desk, including some shameless product placement of my books!

First, a bit of background for those of you just joining us…

(Quite a bit of this section has been blatantly copied from my ‘about’ page, so feel free to skip this bit if you’ve heard it all before…)

I came to Substack after 15 years of blogging: first as a hobby blogger, then writing for other people, and, finally, as the owner of a very small blog network, which included my personal site, Forever Amber, which used to regularly appear on lists of the Top UK Bloggers, even though it was mostly just about things like that one time I touched an electric fence, or paid £50 for a set of eyelash extensions that made me look like Barbara Cartland.

My blog never made me rich or famous. It did, however, allow me to make a pretty good income by writing about fashion, beauty, travel, and all of the other things I loved, and thought about obsessively: so when the pandemic came along, and everyone decided they didn’t want to read blogs any more when they could just endlessly scroll TikTok instead, I realized I was going to have to try something else.

I might have cried.

OK, I did cry.

The thing is, I had spent well over a decade writing about my life on the internet, and getting paid for it. It was a pretty sweet gig, to be honest, and I loved it. But now my income from it had all but dried up, and instead of being a fashion/beauty blogger best known for her collection of very high heels, I was suddenly a middle-aged mum, who wore leggings every day and didn’t even really like TikTok that much.

Where is the space on the Internet for those of us who don’t like TikTok1, I ask you?

<FORESHADOWING>

(Oh, and without much money coming in, I was also up to my ears in debt, but with a vast collection of “free” clothes and shoes, most of which I couldn’t even re-sell, because the brands weren’t well-known enough. Yes, that’s a tiny violin you can hear playing in the background…)

In just a few, short years, literally everything had changed: from the world itself (Thanks, Covid), to my career, to the way I now woke up with weird wrinkles on my chest, and had developed something I was to learn were called “hip dips”. Who knew?

Enter Substack

I’d heard about Substack from (Whose newsletters are still some of my favourites on here, so go subscribe to them if you haven’t already), but although I’d impulsively signed up for an account, on which I’d re-posted one of the posts from my blog, I couldn’t really imagine what I’d do with it.

Which was a problem, really.

What did I have to say that I wasn’t already saying on either the blog itself, or on social media?

Why would people even CARE?

More importantly: what would my newsletter — which I’d given exactly the same name as my blog, thinking I could always change it later if I wanted to — be ABOUT?

Because, unlike my blog, which has always been about whatever happened to grab my interest at the time, it seemed to me that a newsletter had to be ABOUT something. It had to have a niche. This was where I’d gone wrong with blogging. My blog was about anything and everything. Fashion. Beauty. Parenting. Travel. The international man of mystery who lived next door, and who’d probably have been really creeped out to know I was documenting his every move on the internet. Er, sorry, Nigel.

I tried to pull all of these various threads together by referring to the site as a “lifestyle” blog, but the truth is that “lifestyle” is such a vague, all-encompassing term that it’s still really hard for people to figure out what the hell your “lifestyle” site is supposed to be about, much less why they should want to follow it.

In my case, the people who’d come for the fashion content were bored rigid by the parenting stuff. The ones who’d arrived looking for product recommendations were outright incensed by my insistence on telling long, rambling stories about my life (“I don’t care about your life,” read one memorable comment. “I just want to see what you’re wearing!”) but the people who DID like those stories didn’t like having them constantly interspersed with photos of all the clothes and shoes I kept buying/being sent. And, honestly, the conclusion of the ‘Nigel’ story was a real anti-climax, even to me.

So I had a lot of readers (Over 70,000 at the height of the blog’s success), but they were all there for vastly different things, which is one of the reasons I never really felt like I’d built a particularly large “following”, even though my site had been around for what felt like forever.

Case in point: when I decided to import my blog’s email list to Substack — which I did in March of this year, when I decided it was time to start taking the newsletter semi-seriously — it had just over 1,000 names on it: which might seem like a lot (And obviously would be if I’d been starting from scratch…), but which, in the context of the amount of traffic my blog had once had, was pretty unimpressive, really.

Importing the email list

So, I imported the list, and decided to commit to sending out a newsletter at least once a week. Here’s where we go behind the paywall, so I can show you some figures…

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